‘Twilight’ saga getting soggy with ‘Breaking Dawn: Part 1’

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison share a moment in 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 1', Summit Entertainment, LLC

Once upon a time, Hollywood  made movies intended to be seen in one sitting usually lasting 90 minutes or so.

You told a story with a beginning, a middle and an end—voilà, there’s your movie.

But toward the end of the 20th century when executives decided to establish the sequel as the preferred business model in the American film industry—and theoretically ensure a stream of income lasting years if not decades—brevity no longer equaled bankroll and all bets were off.

So it comes as no surprise that the fourth release from the Twilight machine, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, should once again prove to be a huge maybe even record-breaking commercial success.

By some estimates, the Twilight film franchise has already earned nearly $2 billion to date—equal to the entire GDP of some foreign countries.

But just why do films like The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 reap huge box office receipts over and over again?

Some may argue that the story line is well written and that alone should ensure success while others may point to pioneering franchises like The Godfather, Back to the Future and Star Wars for having really perfected the model.

All of that may be true but in reality, sexy, well-dressed, young werewolves and vampires + exotic locations + an army of devoted fans ranging from tweeny boppers to cougars = blockbuster.

So with a time-tested formula in place for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1,  Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner again reprise their roles as Bella Swan, Edward Cullen and Jacob Black respectively.

Billy Burke (Charlie Swan), Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen) and Peter Facinelli (Dr. Carlisle Cullen) also return.

This time around the fun begins when 18-year-old Bella finally chooses to marry Edward despite his aversion to the idea in the last installment, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

In Eclipse, it was Edward who insisted they wait to get married so Bella can “experience life” a little more despite the fact that once Bella decides to become one of the undead, experiencing life becomes an oxymoron along the lines of jumbo shrimp, etc…

Not surprisingly, Bella decides to forego a college education (and a career?) opting instead to marry into the classier Cullen clan over the perpetually shirtless Jacob and the Quileute wolf pack—even though it was the lovelorn Jacob who risked his life and was severely injured fighting Victoria and her “newborn” clan in Eclipse.

Alas, things finally appear to be looking up for Bella and Edward.

After a fairy-tale wedding which takes place in the forest—apparently all the wedding halls in Forks were booked—Bella and Edward nix the idea of going to a Sandals-style resort opting instead to honeymoon on the Brazilian island of Esme.

In the much gushed over honeymoon scene, it’s hard to differentiate the characters Bella and Edward from Pattison and Stewart who are a romantic item in real life.

The morning after consummating their marriage, Bella discovers she is bruised and tired as a result of Edward’s night stalker mojo.

She soon discovers that she is knocked up (surprise, surprise) with Edward’s super seed—a human-vampire hybrid capable of growing faster in Bella’s womb than her body can physically handle.

Fearing the rapidly developing fetus will literally destroy her, the couple returns to Forks and Dr. Carlisle’s sparsely staffed medi-clinic where Bella decides to deliver her spawn.

Unlike Mia Farrow’s Rosemary Woodhouse, who gives birth to a demon child so ugly she screams in fear when she first sees it, Bella gives birth to a beautiful vampire crossbreed named Renesmee.

Fortunately, director Bill Condon spares us the blood and gore of a graphic childbirth suggested by Meyer in the novel and opts for the PG-13 birth.

Commenting earlier to Entertainment Weekly, Stewart agreed with Condon in that she thought the birth scene was too tame and should have been filmed as was written in the novel but that would have earned Breaking Dawn – Part 1  the dreaded R-rating and leave hordes of  Twilight minions theoretically unable to see the film.

The richly layered lens work of Mexican cinematographer Guillermo Navarro (Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Hellboy, Zathura, Pan’s Labyrinth, Night at the Museum, I Am Number Four) will certainly satisfy those seeking a “shooters” film.

Still, the sumptuous cinematography shot in Rio de Janeiro, Vancouver and Louisiana combined with the bubblegum-chewing appeal of its beautiful cast won’t be able to steer Breaking Dawn Part 1 away from its own formulaic linearity and seemingly unending storyline.

The four Twilight novels combined produce almost 2,500 pages of text while most modern versions of the King James Bible run a scant 1,280 pages by comparison.

By the time the fifth film in the series (Breaking Dawn Part 2) is released sometime in November 2012, one can’t help but wonder if this franchise isn’t morphing into what could be a made-for-television series.

Diehard Twilight fans will undoubtedly be counting the days to the next installment in 2012 but for those who would choose a good night sleep over breaking dawn (otherwise known as pulling an all-nighter to grown-ups) perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Isn’t 2012 the same year the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end?—Steve Santiago

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